GOD'S SPEC vs YOURS: THE "GOD WHEN" NARRATIVE.

Bisade sat in the front row of the church’s pew, smiling goofily as the pastor pronounced her sister and bro Mathew husband and wife. Her smile even grew wider when the new couple was asked to kiss; she didn’t know when she said aloud what she was thinking in her mind, "God, when?” She looked sideways to see her friend Anthonia giving her the look, and knowing what Anthonia was about to say, she lipsynced along with her as she rolled her eyeball and said, "Daughter soon!”

Like Bisade, time after time we ask ourselves this question, hoping to receive an answer from God. More than a normal slang or joke, this question has become real in the hearts of many, eating them up daily. We ask this question when we’re faced with difficulties, when we’re stuck, or when we see others excelling or doing things we want to do. Awning over people’s achievements and spouses is not bad, but you start to cross the line when you begin to overadmire and desire what is not God’s will for you, wanting to get it at all costs. When God’s 'spec' for you doesn’t fit into your almighty criteria and you want to get your 'spec' for yourself by all means, regardless of God’s approval or disapproval, you’re on a traffic-free high way to destruction. At some point, God is not going to stop you from pursuing what you want as opposed to what He wants for you. After He tries multiple times to get you to subscribe to His will for your life and you don’t, He gives you His permissive will, and when your spec starts spanking you and giving you physical and emotional scars, He will (maybe) turn His face from you because He foresaw the future before the future came; He warned you but you didn’t listen.

Below are some of my thoughts, I hope you learn from them.

1.       1. Before you make something or someone’s relationship a prayer point, check back with God. Don’t covet what is clearly out of His will for your life because it looks good, like they say, all that glitter is not gold, might be polished plastic, who knows? Definitely not you, because you’ve not had a feel of it, you’re just judging based on what you’ve seen from a distance. Be wise!

2.      2. Stop looking the wrong direction, God might have answered your question (the “God when and God who? Question) but His answer might not be in the direction you’re eying. My mum told me something yesterday while we were discussing communication in marriage and courtships. She said “close your eyes to everything else so as not to intercept the process of hearing correctly”. When you’re asking God for His will, kill your own will first, forget about your spec so you’ll see clearly and stop painting the picture of what’s in your head when God wants to work on the canvas.

3.       3. Forget the container, focus on the content! I understand that he’s not your spec but you need to see beyond the now, quit speculating that he won’t meet up to standards because he’s not your spec. God knows what’s best for you, key into it.

4.       4. Set standards but don’t set standards outside God’s will. Don’t set them without checking with God, make Abba no shock you my dear!

5.       5. When God brings the content in a package you don’t exactly want, blend in and tush up the package yourself, don’t miss out on the content because you don’t like the package. You don’t like slim girls, agreed but now that God has given you a beautiful model figured petite woman, wetin you wan do? Ah, sister Clarissa still dey enter your eye? Its because she’s your spec right? Big and curvy, my friend commot your eye, no think am! Key into God’s provision.

6.       6. You dey run kiti kiti, you dey run kata kata but God’s will dey your doorstep, e dey your local church, e dey your friend group but you don sister zone and brother zone all of them. You no even wan hear wetin God dey tell you. God talk say na Clara you go marry you con dey tell God say “you mean sister Clara? No lord, no now, she’s like a sister to me”. I pity you, 'brother coordinator for sisters', your eye go later see shege if you miss out on God’s will.

7.       7. You, yes, you! You wey marry God’s spec and you don’t want to change your spec to soothe God’s taste (His spec), you con dey treat God’s spec anyhow for inside the marriage. You no dey show am love but you dey follow sister Alberta smile for church because she has the shape you like, ah, you go too suffer! You dey play with grace, you dey take God’s child play? You will face disgrace my dear!

8. You're shouting "God when?" But when God brings the who at His appointed when, you'll still argue and say no because he or she is not your spec. Ah, I pirry you, snap out of it and key into His will. 

This was a long read but my point is, at some point in your life, you'll have to forget about your spec and hold on to God's will. It will surprise you that at the end of the day, God's will would later become your spec and you'll wonder what you were thinking while setting your former standards. It's okay to set standards but never let those standards overrule God's will for your life. 

Everyone has their "God when" couple, that couple that you want to fashion your home after because you like what you see. The beautiful people in the picture above are my "God when" couple, they inspire me everytime, the couple above are my guardians and the couple below are my biological parents. 

 Lest I forget, I recently launched my debut novel “HOUSE OF A STRANGER”, the soft copy (PDF) is available for 1000 naira and the hard copy is available for 1500 naira, you can message me on whatsapp (08184153671) to get your copy. It’s an interesting read, I promise.

About the book

Patricia, a fervent christian missionary gets married to Bayo, a district pastor and a "spiritual bowl of fire" but things turned sour on the day of their wedding. How could a perfect union orchestrated by God crumble? How were they able to pick up the pieces of their broken marriage? Find out as you prayerfully read this book

"House of a Stranger" chronicles the story of Patricia's marital woes and how she overcomes them. The novel discusses important topics like teenage crushes, adoption, domestic violence, love, forgiveness, et cetera.. 

Please subscribe to my mum's YouTube channel and plan to watch all her videos (she'll post more soon, she's a very beautiful relationship counsellor)

https://youtu.be/S47H38fOAwE

Also, if you ever need a counselor/therapist, be it a behavioral counsellor, a relationship counselor, whatever thing you need counseling on, I've got one for you. Mrs Adebisi Nosiru-Akanni is a great counselor, she doubles as my guardian, her picture is the one directly on top that of my parents. She's a professional counselor who abides by the tenets of professional counselling, do not be afraid, shy or ashamed to message her. I think she's currently running a free counseling session program, but usually, counselling sessions are paid, fear not, the fees are affordable. 

Facebook link: https://www.facebook.com/bisi.gbadegesin?mibextid=ZbWKwL

Name of her counseling institute: Listening Ears International

Counselling WhatsApp number: +234 706 135 3924 

Please note: It's not only people that have "problems" that need counselling. Everyone needs counseling, you might not know something is off till you actually start counseling sessions. 

Love, 

God's Very Own ❤️