An appointment with God (An account of dates with Yeshua) part 3

Dear God

Why do you hate me this much?

What sin did I commit?

Maybe I can retrace my steps and rectify it,

Or better still ask for forgiveness.

Every year wraps up tarnishing my hope and faith in you.

It's been ten years,

Ten years of unfruitful prayers.

Dear God

Why did you decide to bless me with unfruitfulness and barrenness?

I mean, out of all the numerous gifts you have in store, you chose to give me this?

Dear God 

Are you still up there?

Are you still alive?

Have you run short of breath?

Do you no longer have life in you?

Have you suddenly become like the gods my pastor told me about?

Those gods that have ears but cannot hear.

Those gods that have eyes but cannot see.

Are you truly God?

Often time I question your existence,

Are you sure you exist?

I have been crying to you for a decade now,

Each time you tell me "cheer up daughter, your time is near"

Can I get your definition of near please?

What exactly does "near" mean in your dictionary?

How long shall I tarry in your presence Abba?

Give me a child

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Dear daughter

Remember Hannah,

Remember Sarah,

Remember Elizabeth.

I kept their wombs for glories,

Global glories.

Children who shook heaven and earth for me. 

Dear daughter

In your asking, complain not.

in your seeking, compare not.

All these while you have done nothing but complain and compare me to graven images.

Dear daughter

I am God,

I cannot be compared to nobody.

I am alive,

I may seem deaf to your prayers but it is for a reason.

I was keeping your womb for an end time general,

A revivalists. 

But it seems I'm giving you too much shame,

you think your God is not capable.

I will give you children, 

But I will withdraw that one special gift and give it to someone that is ready to wait. 

Raise my gifts to you well,

Nature them, try are arrows in my hand.

     God has a reason for everything, he has his own time and pace. A day to God is like years to man and years to go is like a day to man. Ironic right? God is time himself and so he dictates time, no man dictates time for God. God's permissive will is different from his will, sometimes he chooses to give you even when it's not the set time. He decides to give you a duplicate when you decide not to wait for his dictate, we all know that duplicates are always of lesser quality. 

    Wait for God, I know it can be hard but just keep pushing and hoping, he is waiting for the right time 🥰.